Just came back from date 2 with G. As I was walking behind the short alley-like way to my car, in the other parking lot, I was laughing out loud at the evening's ending... Not sure what to make of it, what it means, or where to take it from here (assuming I have the option). Am mulling over what to write.
After some thought...
Although I am independent, progressive, somewhat liberal minded feminist thinking, strong, empowered, confident etc etc type of woman, I just like being taken care of in the little ways. So those "open the door," "let you out first on the elevator," and "walk you to your car" things, I notice and appreciate. Its just nice that someone thinks enough to go out of their way for you.
But, I recognize (I'm considering...) that much of that is just up-bringing. Some men are just raised to do those things for women, regardless of their relationship or feelings toward her. It's not like those guys open the door for you because they like you, they just do it because. Same with walking you to your car, same with picking up the check after a meal. Right?
But, I would think that if you are trying to impress someone, that you would make more of an effort, go out of your way to do those things...right?
But, that is only if you know or realize that it is considerate and/or expected.
So, how much slack to you cut someone, or do you just cut them off? Is it being too picky and short-sighted. I would classify this as one of those "little things" that are nice but should not be used to make or break deals. How considerate and easy going should I be in this situation? Your thoughts?
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If I had a chance for another try, I wouldn't change a
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3 comments:
I always say: it's the parents. Ladies, we are not picking just a man, we are picking a man who is shaped by his parents' efforts.
Don't settle for someone whose parents didn't bother to teach him manners, if that's important to you. If you see long-term with this person and want to have kids, that's what they'll be teaching your kids.
I personally be would easygoing about those things because I agree it's mainly a reflection of how they were brought up. What's more important is whether the person is the type of person to care once they know it matters to you. One thing that does bug me though is if the guy doesn't hold heavy bags for you. But even that, I wouldn't write someone off based on that alone. I might pick a fight though (hee hee), assuming the relationship continues.
I say it's both. The parents may or may not teach the child chilvary/cultural mannerism. The parents can teach their values/culture, biases, etc to their children.
However, there comes a point when the children become conscious of the environment and can pick up cultural norms. They should be able to learn on their own. This is where the children's personality kicks in.
An example is 1st generation immigrant children. They learn their ethnic culture from their parents, and they teach themselves the American culture.
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