All Day Date

I have an all day date planned this Sat with J3. I think this is my first. I mean, I've been out all day with a guy/bf. But, not on a date date. It's like I'm a contestant on blind date, except I don't expect to end up in a hot tub with him. Anyhow, the plan is to go for a hike, movie and dinner.

I'm looking forward to it, but am nervous. What if I don't like how he looks when I see him again? What if its dull? What if I get that feeling and want to bolt?

He's More Into Me

I think he (J3) is more into me than I am him. It's strange to be in this position. I like him, but he is constantly all over me (not literally as we've only seen each other 2 times). If I didn't like him I would be repulsed by the attention. But I think the fact that I don't mind the attention means I like him. What do you think? Crazy theory or not?

I like dancing alone...

I went to LV this weekend and realized that I like dancing alone. Partly, I don't know how to dance with another. You can't just move wild and crazy however you feel, but have to consider the other person and move with them. But that's so constricting. The other part of me doesn't like gyrating with a stranger. I like my personal space. I don't like strangers rubbing against me. And here's an observation...the more wild, and I-don't-want-you attitude you have, the more desirable you become.

Also, and I don't get girls on platforms bobbing their thonged-bottoms in boys faces. Ick. Ick.

A Diamond in the Rough....

J3 called me a diamond in the rough. That characterization both appealed to, and appalled me. So basically, when I thought it was over with him, not that he and I ever really started, he continues to call, text, email me showering affectionate words. The skeptical side keeps things in check. But then I think "what they hey, this could be fun" and so we continue to communicate.

I remember a long time ago, friends describing a mutual guy friend as "like wine"; someone who you'll know will be great in a few years, but just not quite palatable now. I don't think that was a compliment. J3 meant his comment as a compliment, but now... was it really? We're supposed to finally spend some quality time together this weekend, so we'll see.

The lull continues...

J3 and I email and text, and "flirt" via email and text. Some reason we haven't conversed via phone. What does it mean? I don't really know and it doesn't really bother me. I guess other things have been busy and I just can't be bothered to be concerned about this.

Today, I got a "futureme.org" email where I sent myself a message 90 days ago, telling myself to make a decision about RS. So funny how that was SO last year. smiles.

It goes up...

And then comes down. Still in the process of figuring out things with J3; nothing is final yet. But, reality has settled in some, and the energy has faded. It's sad, really, I was sad, so much so, I can't say what happened. Just saying there may be a lull for a while.

J3 & I

J3 and I have been talking on the phone. We want to see each other and admit to mutual attraction. Sounds promising, right? BUT, why does there always seem to be a "but"? Really! Supposedly he's busy this weekend. ALL day Saturday, and ALL day Sunday...something to do with the NFL playoffs. I'm in Salt Lake the following weekend and LV the weekend afterwards. That leaves weekdays, but between work and activity schedules it's really hard to find a date free to both of us. He threw out this upcoming Monday. That's my softball day. Tuesday? I want to sign up for a class. Wednesday? I made dinner plans with a friend. Thursday?...he's got a work commitment. So, in this situation, it's okay to sacrifice one of my activities, right? I'm thinking softball, partially because do I really want to play at 9:00 p.m. when I could be meeting him? Where's the commitment to the team? Feel so bad, but not bad enough. Is it really so wrong?

Can you go to the symphony as just friends?

I spoke with D2 just now. It's so funny that he actually waited the 3 days to call me back. I know that on Fri, I told him that the rules don't apply. But, he wasn't really listening, which I've been learning is his problem. He got around to asking if I was free on the weekend. I responded by making it absolutely clear that there is no romantic future possibility between us. He's cool, we can be friends, and that is it. I said this, like 5 times! Really. He said, that's fine and asked if it would be alright to do certain things he likes to do-but is more enjoyable with a girl-like the symphony. I suggested that he could be included into my group of friends, but he rejected the idea. I said, yeah, look a little inward; you should work on that.

4R

Had coffee with 4R this afternoon. It was actually a chai latte. No sparks. I can sense sparks now. By the end I was trying to figure out who I could set him up with. He's a great guy, down to earth, "cowboy" type, clean appearance. It's such a shame. When you're thinking about someone else, it's so hard to focus :).

J3 - Drinking is Bad

Met with J3 for what was supposed to be coffee, but we met at a lounge/bar around 3:30 p.m. instead. So, of course we had to order a martini. Now, for those who know me, you know I don't hold my liquor. Drinking is bad, because judgment gets skewed. I can't tell if the fun good time is real or is the fuzzy alcohol. J3 is a real romantic, and in some very unexpected way that appeals to me. He wasn't being romantic; that would have been off-putting. But, he had an optimism about love and relationships that was engaging.

D2-Dinner at Pascal's

D2 and I decided to have our first meeting at Pascal's. It's a quaint restaurant, a local nice place, but not in the glamor part of town. It was raining. My first impression was that he was just like his picture. He was not initially as hyper as his phone self. I didn't have a bad time. Just didn't have a great time. I kept on trying to give advice on what he should do next time, how he could present himself better. I kept telling him what would be better. That's probably very telling about my feelings toward him. Ya think?

Dinner was from about 7:30 to 10:00. So, it's not like I was out-of-there. But in the early middle, middle middle, later middle, and end, he asked if there would be a second date. He asked if I was bored. I said no. He said "Thanks!". I said "there is worse than boring." "Oh..." with a slight look of dejection. I kept it at lets be friends, really, and go from there.

Number 3

Spoke on the phone with "J3", first conversation. He talks a lot too. So not what I had pictured and hoped. He works in the "biz" and reminds me of the days when I'd go out and everyone I'd meet was a writer/actor/director. There's just that style, intonation, inflection in speech that I find typical with the "biz" people. It makes for fun conversation, but its not real to me. His profile was hopeful. His picture looked cool. Same school, likely same year, same major, we've lived in same areas of town. I could tell he was intelligent and sharp. But that phone voice and style. It's so not me. Why is this so hard? My phone battery died and we got cut off. Yes, I will call him back.

**I think I will start numbering from now on, so I can keep better track. The initials are confusing.

New Guy #2--Part 2

I said I would meet D. He wants to plan an all day first date. I said, let's meet first and then go from there. He said, okay, let's do dinner and a show. I said, let's meet first and we'll go from there. He did not react well. He has text msgd me 4 (FOUR!) times, since Sunday; 3 times(THREE!!!) today. That's $0.40! I'm very upset at that. Really.

Oh, and "O" (from a few weeks ago) also texted me twice today. That's $0.30! (because I was foolish enough to reply.) I mean, if he wanted to connect with me, why text, pick up the phone and talk!

70 cents today!!