Blast from the Past

I went to an alumni event today. There was a guy, O; he looked familiar, and then it clicked. He is one of the guys I've been emailing from eharm. Wasn't sure what to do...do I say something? So, we had a moment where we were sitting alone, and he says..."we've met before". And I quickly acknowledge that yes, I know him. He says that we lived together...what? Well...it turns out that he lived in the apartment above me and my roommates back in the college days. The only reason I remembered them was because I dated his roommate. At least I remembered the roommate, but honestly I didn't remember him. Then I whispered, no I'm "X" from eharm. He was confused at first...then I explained how I use a different name when I'm online. We chatted the rest of the afternoon off and on. I really don't remember him from undergrad days. I've such a bad memory for these things. Wow...really..So, we'll see where, if anywhere, it goes. He's not really my type but I'm "desperate" and open to anyone.

Respecting the Process

The coffee date, first meeting with L16 came and went. I'm pondering the concept of respecting the process. Everything moved so fast with L16 that there wasn't time for interest to brew. He's normal, interesting, we were able to talk work issues which was helpful. But, the interest wasn't really there. But he was interesting and asked me a lot of questions and wanted to know about me. There was something in his mannerism that I wasn't into. I feel so superficial. I want to find a way to make him into a professional contact.

This is what I wrote to O? on Sunday after my exactly 1 hour first dinner date meeting. After trying to explain how it was confusing because it took him 7-8 months to meet up, I wrote:

That said if you are interested in me as a date...do you really think we're compatible? I don't like movies (the way you do) and have fleeting interests in photography. Really, the past year, I've seen a movie every 3-4 months. I hang out with friends who haven't seen a movie in 5 years. If you want to be friends..okay..I'm cool with that. But, you live kind of far, and we don't really have any common interests. That said, I'm always open to having more friends, contacts etc. You seem like a good person.

Four days later, he writes: I'll be honest with you...I do think you are a very attractive girl... and would like to get to know you better. Maybe its my laid back persona which makes me hard to read when you told me you were not sure what my intentions were...
I would really like to meet up with you again sometime ... Email me back your thoughts...

So it's flattering, sure...but really? I thought I was pretty clear.

Bored and Annoyed

I was amused when I saw this article, because it has been my experience too. The online dating sites are frustrating because there are lots of people who create a profile but are not members. So you get all excited that there's this guy but he's not really accessible. I should see if I can be included in the class action. I wonder what the remedy should be for humiliation from unreturned winks...the evil eye back at you?

Well...I have a new boy to meet, L16. He's an eharm contact and we fastracked each other. There have been 7 messages between the both of us, and a 3 minute phone call to set up a coffee meeting...tomorrow... at what is becoming my usual spot. There's so little info to generate any anticipation.

I know, I wasted my time....

I went out with O? finally tonight. This is the one where we first chatted in October, he wanted to meet and said he'd call in 2 weeks...that was a month ago...so we finally met tonight. (One friend described him as having no game) He wasn't as overweight/unattractive as I thought, but he is a big man and there was a pot belly slightly visible. Interestingly, he hardly ate anything for dinner.

We were supposed to meet at 6p.m. I arrived at 7p.m. Okay, I did call and warn him but not until he had already left home. The Laker game was over, and we left at 8p.m. His world is movie making. He just started taking classes and says it's just a hobby. He has a regular day job. He wants to learn how a movie is made from a technical point of view. No story to tell, no message to convey, no vision of the world or society..."I'm not that deep." He follows sports, but doesn't play any...nothing outdoorsy....well he did some hiking/camping when he was a boys scout but nothing since. He doesn't eat seafood. Not involved in the community except for his movie making world, but he helps friends out if they need it. Okay... you get the picture.