Nothing New to Report

Since it's been a while since I made my last entry, I feel I need to give a progress report. There really isn't anything new to report, which probably mean things are going well. So far, the more time spent together, the more I like. The irrational excitement is waning but...it's okay.

A Peril of Being On-Line

I was at the gym the night before last. Wasn't really up for a vigorous work out, but did 20 min on the elliptical then went to the mats to stretch and do floor exercises. So, there I am stretching, doing crunches, whatever and the guy next to me looks over, points and says "XXXX" (the screen name I use on my match.com profile). I look back, puzzled. He repeats, and I slowly acknowledge, that yes, it is me. He reassures me that he hasn't contacted me, but did recognize me. Trying to be polite, I ask what's his name. He refuses to answer, and said it would be mysterious or something that way. O-k-a-y.... When I returned home, I looked him up. I shot him a "found you" message. He replied, but I didn't. Maybe I'll see him at the gym again, maybe not. He didn't creep me out, but the experience was a bit surprising (and that's being very understated.)

Angels & Airwaves--The Adventure

This was my song...a year ago. Started listening to it again....

Email

Is email an acceptable form of communication equivalent to talking on the phone? Does it mean anything if one chooses one form over the other?

What next?

Had another nice day with RS on Sunday. I don't want to get paranoid, but I am anxious to know what's next. I know I should just enjoy and take it easy, but I want to push the fast forward button and know how this ends. I have doubts (insecurities?) that he's got no intention of getting serious. Because I can't attribute the doubt to any action on his part, I wonder if I'm just being
paranoid/over-analytical. It's such the C-22. If he were overly effusive with feeling, I'd so roll my eyes and not trust anything said. But, where little is expressed, as here (on both sides), I'm left wondering and anxious to know. Oh, such mind games....

A Test

I met up with IX-- a teacher/tennis player/surfer dude. It was off to a bad start because we agreed to meet at 6:30p.m. at the cafe. He wasn't there at 6:30p.m.; I called--"what's up, where are you?". He calls back, apologizes--he didn't have my number (bc I never gave it to him) and he couldn't call to let me know he was running late. I suggested to meet back in HB, since we are both closer to that area. So, I drive back to HB, and about an hour after our initial meeting time, we meet up. I'm hungry by then, so "coffee" turned into chili fries at Johnny Rockets. Conversation was good because he's a teacher and there's lots in common. I just took surfing lessons this past weekend, so there was that in common too. I've always had a thing for tennis too. I think guys are easy--if you are a girl who's into the sports they are, they get all ga-ga. Conversation was fun-interesting...as I said, we had things in common. Afterwards, as we are headed back to our respective parking areas, he casually suggests meeting up again. "Would you be up for meeting up again..." he says. Shyly, but in an erratic-confused-but-forward way, I say: "maybe...not really." I wasn't ready for the direct question. Direct question gets direct response. I couldn't say yes because that wouldn't be the truth. He was totally cool about it, saying no one has ever said that, but he really appreciated it. I felt bad, tried to qualify my response as "thank you so much, the evening was totally cool, but..." How could I say that my mind has been fixated on someone else, that he never had a shot to begin with. Objectively, I think to myself, IX is too tall, too skinny, too blond...not my type. Yeah....that's the story and I'm sticking to it.

New Crossroads and Decisions

I had a great time with RS last night and we are supposed to see each other tonight. So far it's good and I feel good/right about it. The question now, is what do I do about other guys who want to meet up? RS and I are hardly at the level of being exclusive, having gone out only 4 times. But,
there are others who want to meet up with me and I don't know how to respond. If you had asked me last Fall, there would be no hesitation, I would definitely meet others. But now, I don't quite feel so strongly about it. The rational side says I owe it to myself to meet others, how else will I know for sure. RS and I could fizzle by next week, so I should keep the opportunities open. But, it wouldn't be fair to the new people because I wouldn't really be open.