More Text Ettiquette

I got a text message from a number (no name) and addressed to "Jane". This is my online name, so it wasn't from a friend. Anyone I meet gets my real name, so it must be from someone who I gave my name to but never met? I don't get it. Some are good, they sign their name when they text. I think people need to remember this. Should I write back and ask "who's this?" Should I even bother?

Fourth Date

I'm trying to find something interesting to write about tonight. I want something to critique... something...maybe how he drank too much (2 drinks)...we only ordered one appetizer (coconut shrimp)...his t-shirt was too green...I don't know. We walked along the strand, striking sunset, half moonlight glow, sounds of ocean, orange glows from the bonfires, chatter in the background...it was nice, real nice. Hey...has he done this before...is this a classic date move?

Our live paths have been different, so I'm trying real hard not to let that prejudice me. I'm still trying to evaluate if that matters...what do I really want/need. I'm sensing a certain rigidness in how he does things...but it's just a sense...trying not to judge too early... but am too shy to confront.

Third Date with Y16

It was fun...pretty good. Now for the analytical critique because that is what I do....I allowed myself to have a drink (okay 2) so...it was fun. There was no serious talk, I hardly got to know him better...it was just friendly chat, lighthearted and chill. I don't even know what we talked about. But, I enjoyed his company. After dinner, we walked outside for a bit, went toward the pier but didn't make it to the end. He ended the night so he could wake up early. On one hand I wanted to stay out late, you know, be spontaneous, romantic. On the other hand, I get the need to be more regimented, getting enough rest, having energy for the day...I can appreciate that.

Back to I17 for a Moment

I had given I17 my personal email and never heard from him. Was quite surprised...but then nearly 2 weeks later I got a message, via eharm, from him. He apologized for getting my email address wrong...then proceeded to ask if I wanted to get together again. I said thanks again, but no. I hope I was a bit more gentle than that.

Second Date with Y16

We went to a local casual/family Italian restaurant in my neighborhood, one that I've always wanted to try out. There was so much nervousness and anticipation before hand that it was awkward for a few moments when I met him at the restaurant. We just talked and talked and it was very easy and natural. But, I also can see how different we are from each other. While it is exciting that he's different from me, it's also scary/disturbing that he's so different from me. He walked me to my car, said I was a good kisser, and later texted that he likes me. If the last three guys said I was good, does that mean I am good?

I broke down and texted him. I went back and forth...asked around for advice and then again. After much pondering, I decided that what was holding me back was some perception of how it should proceed and my own pride. Those are not good enough reasons, so I texted something simple.

He wrote back, and I wrote back. So NOW, I'm waiting ... do I call? I said I'm free Friday, so what time, where, what to expect? Do I wait for his call? again...the waiting.

I still have not heard from Y16 and it's driving me crazy....crazy. He said "see you when I return from...". It's been almost a week since he left...I can't remember how long he is gone for. I thought it was through the weekend, but I could be wrong. Do I email him? text him? call him? driving me crazy...:(

More to Ponder

I met with I17 in between my events as planned. It went pretty much as I expected. He's a good person, but there wasn't anything special that stood out about him. He wasn't particularly attractive and wasn't particularly interesting...wasn't particularly anything...in a good or bad way. So when he asked if I was interested in seeing each other again, I said I had to ponder it. That lead to discussions on what ponder meant, appreciation for my honesty, and how my approaches to dates have changed over the years. Eh.

Pre Evaluating and Pondering

I'm meeting I17 tomorrow in between commitments. I wanted to meet I17 tonight, Friday, but he didn't want to rush because after work is a bit difficult and he's a bit far from me. He suggested Sunday, but I don't have any plans on Sunday and didn't want to commit to the one meeting and disrupt my whole day. (Pretty lame excuse, huh.) I didn't get the sense he was willing to come to my neighborhood...so...to make it easier, I offered to meet him on Saturday, tomorrow because I would be up in LA, near him. I have a picnic all day, and meeting friends in the evening. So I told him I could meet at about 6pm for an hour. I'm keeping an open mind, I am!!

R18 did NOT call this week. I AM surprised, but at this point, I shouldn't be surprised by anything. So, I totally regret numbering him...waste of a number...maybe I'll take it back.

Okay, I know I've done this before--listed what exactly it is I'm looking for in a man--but I'm doing it again. I will have to review the entries to see if there are any consistencies. My new model involves four areas of compatibility. I'm not looking for checklist specifics, but my focus is whether he is compatible with me along these four dimensions: 1) Intellect-which encompasses education, desire to continue learning, 2) Spiritual, not just religious, 3) Commitment to community-someone who cares not just for his friends and family but for others in the neighborhood, and 4) Activity-I need physically activity, not just pretend activity like going to the park or golf (no offense golfers). Ooh, maybe I should come up with a 10 point? 5 point? 7 point? scale and start rating the dates along these lines....hmmm.

First Date with Y16

I forgot the name of the restaurant we were supposed to meet at; only knew the location. Wasn't sure if that was the place....so I glanced through the door and the wide patio windows, as I walked by briskly past the restaurant to the end of the street, took a breath, then turned around and headed in. He seemed to recognize me right away. There was a split moment, I was like, "really?" (in a good way). You have to understand, we met in my neighborhood, familiar surroundings, but there was an upscale/out-of-place vibe. He looked like he belonged. I felt like the outsider.

I hesitantly said, "Y16?...hi" as he reached out to hug me. He introduced me to two friends who he had a meeting with earlier in the evening. They headed out and we sat down to chat. We chatted for a while, then ordered food. Waters were ordered to be safe. He doesn't eat a lot, so we split a burger. I think I'm hungry now. I'm not against splitting a burger, but isn't that a bit odd on a first date? Plus he wanted an ahi burger, which was fine with me, but who orders ahi burgers? We had interesting conversations about a variety of topics. We even talked religion and fasting which was odd, but familiar. After dinner, he orders a drink drink. Is that odd? I thought it odd...who orders a drink at the end of the night? He walked me to my car several blocks away. He kept repeating he's a gentleman. What is that?

Another Prospect

There is another - R18. We have just talked but he seemed interested, so I'm assuming he's interested enough to call me a again...but who knows. I already get the vibe he's a player although he says the right thing of wanting to find the one, wanting a relationship, wanting to settle. He lives a bit far from me, so that's not so great. We'll see...I'm just "whatever". I know, its bad.

There's this friend of a friend (a new one). I originally didn't think anything of him because-- he's single and I'm single--doesn't make a match. But, then I saw some pictures--not so much of him but his activities--and I became interested. He's not physically all that (sorry:(, got to be honest), but there's just something intriguing. Right now we are just emailing...we're mutually playing the game...so we'll see.

Prospects on the horizon.

I had 2 first conversations. First with Y16. It was okay. He is a wine salesman who lives in the same city as me. We are meeting on Monday. He doesn't date women who live more than 20 minutes from him. Really, I say? You been having any luck with that?

The other is I17? He is same profession like me, but different specialties. He is about 10 years older, so on the older side. He seems mature, asian. We talk, he's interesting. There are obvious similarities and connections. Then we get onto the religion conversation. Never talk religion in a first conversation. Never. So, he goes to a bible based church. Aren't all churches bible based? That's what I thought...but no...there are those who believe that not all churches (e.g. catholics) are true to the bible, are true christians. Agh. Seriously? That is a deal breaker. I said we could meet, but that is a serious strike.